I Am A “Bad Girl”

You know what, my fault is to be a “GIRL”! Yes, it is. Though Indian families claim to be always too open minded, they somewhere either do not know the meaning of this fucking word or they really love to boast of things they do not possess. In reality, being a “Girl” is still a punishment. My family’s too conserved. Won’t let me wear whatever I like, won’t let me be out with friends or even for a walk, won’t let me use my phones cause they think phones are just for making boyfriend, won’t let me have any social account (cause they think it’s for making boyfriends too!). I sometimes feel so bad looking at their ugly mindsets. For the past eighteen years of my life I have been trying to make them understand that I am a “GIRL” not an “OBJECT”.

If they wanna restrict every of my actions better tie me up physically. I hate it more when they have already tied me up mentally and still go out saying, “We are liberal as fuck!!” I am tired of being the “Good Girl”. I ain’t any good girl. I have grown enough to decide what I should wear, whom I should talk with, whom to make friends. They won’t leave me alone in a room, they won’t let me sleep alone, won’t let me go alone anywhere. But how long? It was alright as a kid but as an adult it’s really irrelevant.

I do not care what you guys are thinking of me but I will write what I am feeling right now. I am fade up with being the “good girl” they wish me too be. It’s too tough to be like what other’s want you to be. They won’t allow me to do anything that gives me happiness. Even following my hobbies are a crime to them. It’s been ages seeing a movie, binge watching, hanging out with friends, loving myself, feeling good, feeling happy. They won’t let me! How long can I stay like this? They want me to cut all my contacts, stay isolated, stay alone. It’s not at all like “parenting” but more like a “torture”! For petty things, I am forced to lie to them cause I need some happiness in my life. I can’t stay shut. To talk with friends, I need to lie. To go out somewhere, I need to lie. In every petty things I need to find a purpose. I need to give them an explanation for each step. I need to give them count of every second I spend in my life.

This is not what they call, “Giving Proper Lessons to a child”. What would you call it other than a “Torture”? I can’t live like this anymore. How long will I have to shut myself? When will they understand I ain’t the same little kid? It’s time they need to let me go off their hold.