For another long time I had neither the energy nor any incidents to write but today, in the midnight hour I suddenly had a million words to write down. I do not know it just appears somehow in my mind. Weird…isn’t it? Well my boyfriend and I completed a year from the time we started talking to each other a few weeks ago. Every of our kin and friends say that our relationship is just like a dream. Yeah! It is. But the matter is we have created it as a dream but that has not been possible without crossing hurdles and problems. As we have proceeded together, we have faced fights, we have lost people from our lives, we have seen failure, success, tears and smile and all this has truly built the “dream” we are living in.
It’s been a long long time together and I know we have crossed that “honeymoon” phase of our relationship and now we are in the most dangerous one. But darling we will cross this together as well.
Lately we have a lot of fights but that does get okay within a few hours. Yesterday for some reason the fight went quite far and I felt hopeless about life the whole day, felt like I was so blank without him, “Just Me” isn’t even worth anything. It’s him who makes me up every single day. Yesterday I learnt that it’s never too hard to apologize and it’s never too easy to give up all dreams and hopes. It’s that one person who makes you watch your fairytale everyday and it’s not easy to feel distant from him. Our nights weren’t spent well enough, I cried a lot and was going through a phase of anxiety. In the morning we met but for a moment we weren’t talking to each other which seemed like a nightmare cause that had never happened before. I finally couldn’t take the distance any more and spoke out. Tears filled up my eyes and I tried but couldn’t help bursting out. He too me in his arms and held me tight till I felt all right. He wiped off my tears and kissed my cheeks. It was such a relief oh god!
I had the auditions for a dance society a few days ago and I was there, on the stage for the first time in three years! It was a chance for me to make a come back. Everyone in the audience said I did a great job. Adam even put a story on instagram of my dance video which got quite a lot of appreciation. My classmates came to me to appreciate. It was in a long time that I was gaining appreciation in a long time again for my stage and I was quite confident to get through the auditions. But things didn’t fall the right way though. Many people who seemed to have performed not better than me were selected while I am out for another year. I had built quite a castle of dreams of how I would perform on stage again and people would be cheering their throats out for me. But it takes just a second to shatter all dreams, which is nothing much surprising for me!
I am still a lot worried about his health though. He’s suffering form fever for the past few days and it’s not getting well which is obviously a matter of concern. We went to a doctor and she prescribed some medicines which seems to work for a moment but as it’s effect gets over, he’s again weak and in high temperature. He’s just a gem in my life and it’s not possible to be happy when he isn’t around. I pray to god he gets well soon and I ask all of my readers to pray for him as well.
Darling, I know I ain’t correct all the time or I may have hurt you a lot but I never stopped loving you even for a second. It has always been you and will always be you. I can’t bear any distance between us. It’s the closeness I adore.
P.S. I love you!
A Beginner's Dream 