Residing in everyone’s heart isn’t easy. It makes people think in a wrong way about you. Through the stages of life, I have seen myself change. I have seen my perceptions change about people and things. The world is not only three dimensional, it’s dimension is infinite. People see it through different ways and angles. Through the growing stage of my life, little things have changed me over the course of time. I have seen, heard and felt things to such an extent that they have transformed me into what I am today, the “Queen of a Small Town”. Ten years back I never knew life could be such a roller coaster. But it never made me stop. I gradually learnt to become a girl who has her own dreams, desires, ways, far different from what her family, friends, relatives or neighbours wishes or wants of her. This is exactly what makes me the “Queen”. People call me rude, aggressive, revolting lady. Even if I am so, I do not regret cause all my life I have been taught “ladies do not shout that way, ladies do not revolt. They must learn household courses and learn to stay silent”.
Being raised in a quite orthodox family with strict parents, they never expected my thoughts and behaviours to go all the way “wrong” (well, according to them). Well my family’s environment is a bit toxic. Wearing a little short clothe is a waste of dignity, good girls of good families do not wear it. Going to parties is just so bad. Talking to male friends is not much acceptable. Going out with boys is a sure suspect. Hanging out much with friends destroys life and obviously getting close to anyone before marriage is the biggest crime ever committed on earth and live in a sure path to hell. I just wonder how did they end up having a daughter like me, extremely open minded and rejecting and reacting to all of their foolishness! I fight I shout, I just can’t tolerate shits happening in front of me. That obviously makes me an unruly little crap. I do not want to be the man of my family rather I dream of becoming that badass woman who makes everyone bow their heads before her. I dream to become the “Queen of small town”. Is that too much to ask for?
My revolting nature has led everyone putting me as a bad example to their children. My own parents, whenever they are fighting are like, “It’s just because of you our daughter has become like this!” I just smile and think, even if you both put all your “upgraded mentality” together you won’t be able to create someone like me!
I do not fear to fight, nor to fail. But sometimes I feel lonely in m fight and that’s the worst part. Maybe a “Queen” too cries sometimes….