I sometimes feel too lonely, maybe its my period hormones or what I don’t really know. But I feel lonely! In pain. Today, it’s my second day and am struggling with my period pain the whole day. I just wish to have a moment of peace. But it’s been paining since the time I woke up and now it’s already evening. I wish I had somebody to pamper me, take care of me this time. My mom’s too busy the whole day, my dad’s got to go for work and my boyfriend, he’s far….He too got his life and I understand its never possible to spend an entire day for me. But I just somewhere wish he was here, with me. I just wish to talk to him, it makes me feel good. Writing is a safe way to let out my thoughts. These words do not judge me, these pages do not hold grudges. I just wish somebody was here. Maybe it’s my freaking hormones which is making me overthink the whole day, hurting me, making me sad and lonely. I got no friends, just him. The only person I can rely to and talk to whenever I need. I just wish he was here….
Nothing much happened today. I was laying down on bed the whole day and finding ways to rescue myself from this terrible pain but it seems nowhere to diminish. I think women are born with pain. They are inbuilt with pain. They are meant to tolerate pain and bear with it. Can men ever understand the way we feel? I don’t really know. Maybe never. Leave men, even my mom doesn’t understand. she thinks its okay and nothing special needs to be done when her daughter is in pain. Rather she thinks its worse to be in bed overtime, doing no work!
My dear diary, forever it’s been you to whom I can come to whenever I need. You have never refused to listen or comfort. Like a constant friend I have been telling you every phase of my life from the worst moment to the brightest. Why can’t anybody try to understand me, am I so difficult to accept? Am I so spoilt? Am I too rude as a woman? Or put too much expectations and beliefs on my way? Am I too vulnerable? Am I too lost in my dreams? Or is it that I am still immature and wants to feel like a princess that never exists?
A Beginner's Dream 