As I was wondering and squeezing out my brain on what to write yesterday cause everything seemed so well placed, I got content once more! Thanks to my mom, she always keeps me fulfilled with things to write about! It’s been almost three days since I am back home from college. As it’s been so long away from home, I naturally expected a marvelous treatment at home but it’s far away from reality. From the time I am back home, I have again started fearing every of my move, started hiding things from my parents and stuffs like that. My mom is so much curious about my boyfriend. Actually she doesn’t ever like the idea of loving someone. She feels it much safer to choose a completely unknown person as a life partner rather than knowing a person for a long time before finally deciding to gift him my full life. She says love marriages don’t end up well. I am a person who would not even sit down with an unknown person, fuck marrying!
She’s also very concerned about the fact that my parents have spent a lot of money on me from my childhood. From feeding me to educating me it took them a lot of time and effort and money. Yes, I absolutely agree but I am yet a teenager, just got done with a year of my college, too far away to get a job. Isn’t it too early to ask for it all back? She keeps on telling me that I have to abide by all the fucking rules in their “rule book” till I am eating on their money. I do not want their money! I swear if I had even a small source of income, I wouldn’t have touched even a penny they own.
In all my life I have been a good girl. Just the way they wanted me to. But the inside of me wants to smile, laugh, dance, sing, and do things I was never allowed to. They discuss so much if I wear a dress and look a bit sexy. It’s a “crime” according to them. “Good girls” of “good families” do not wear such. It’s been always a dream for me to wear something I would love to look myself in. But I wasn’t ever allowed. This birthday when my boyfriend gifted me a beautiful slit dress, I looked like a princess. I had wonderful pictures in that dress and had one among them put as my WhatsApp dp. Little did I know that picture would make my life a hell. My mom had texted and called me multiple times to delete the picture. Even my dad did that too. My neighbors had already gossiped on how bitch I looked in it. In all, looking beautiful was my biggest crime ever. And the reason they would give me is that wearing such dresses makes me look vulgar and would lead me to danger (cause the boys can’t keep off their eyes on control). I barely think that could be a reason to crush my happiness, my willingness to look amazing!
I don’t want to eat on anyone’s money. Being a “good girl” all my life, I have never asked for anything from them. I have fulfilled my wishes in what they wished for me. Never did I ask for anything too costly, knowing it might be a burden for my parents. And now they have spoken so much of me eating and living on their money, that I have started to look for alternate ways. Once it hurts my ego, there’s no going back…..