I Have Always Been The Narrator

A story, what does it ever say? A life, a tale, a moment? I too have a story, rather a fairytale. Much too messed up it is. And feels rather away from the world. Howsoever my reality might be messed up and shattered, my fairytale has always been smooth. Reality is not always all about me. It is about people, how they see me, how they treat me. But my fairytale? It’s all about “ME”. In my fairytale I have always been the protagonist. But in reality I am just the “Narrator”.

I reside there, amidst all the earthly chaos. It feels so soothing staying in the world of my imagination. The two things I dearly aspire for is Love and Understanding. Something I have always failed to achieve. I seek it everywhere, in everything. But maybe that’s a rare thing to get. Self love has always been the best option. As I am maturing and learning the world, it seems much more complicated to me. Was it this bad when I was a kid? Or is it just my way of looking at it? Happiness and distress comes mostly from all the decisions we make. Initially I feel pleased at a certain decision which turns out to be the worst in my life.

Seeking love, loosing it, is all we have. Knowing people, Knowing them more and finally knowing them so much that you begin to fear the reality is a part of my life. I wish to narrate my entire story someday, to someone, without fear. The multiple chaos in my mind disturbs me so often. Writing provides a safe passage to valve out my thoughts. I am a teenager with an unstable mind, it there some serious issue with me?

Loving someone till you find that you are loosing yourself is the worst part in any story. Should a narrator get affected by it? Or is it that I am not merely a narrator but somewhere I too am getting involved in my story? Whatever it is, my story is far away from my fairytale! I have two tales going hand in hand, complimenting each other. In my world of dreams, I have love, care and happiness which I loose when I switch to reality…..