Should parents physically abuse their children? Is slapping, thrashing, beating really helpful in shaping a child? Why can’t problems just be solved with words and love? I often wonder if people really feel that children have no right to keep feelings. They can be abused whatever the way elders want in the name of “elder’s blessings”. When it comes to marital abuse, and physical torture in a marital relationship, there are laws to safeguard the victim. When it comes to any physical abuse by another party. there are laws to protect the victim but in India, parents are considered to be the holiest of all and whatever they do is always right. May it be beating, thrashing, abusing, pressurizing the child. We do not have firm laws at all to safeguard a child victim. We are considered to accept all kinds of violence in the name of “Parent’s Love”! My mother often gives examples of how her father used to thrash her on the floor on the slightest mistake and sites it as a reason for her to become a “good” woman. She wishes to treat me the same way and is a firm believer that violence and fear is the best way to form the personality of a child.
I am currently in the first year of my college and today, just a few minutes ago she slapped me five times for no reason. I was out for a walk and had barely returned when she asked me if I did wet my hair today. I denied. I had my morning classes today, it’s winter and after the classes I abruptly fell asleep. I woke up at about 3 p.m. and it wasn’t cool for me to wet my hair at that time. I jut changed my clothes. My mom and dad both go to office and we have shifted to a new house recently due to which the geyser isn’t been installed yet. We warm the water with an immersion rod before bathing. As it is dangerous and prone to electric shocks, my dad already made the set up for me before leaving for office. Yet I couldn’t take a proper bath today and it wasn’t my fault at all. I couldn’t help falling asleep!!
As I returned back home she started to scold me for this reason. She went on telling irrelevant things and bad words. I am a person who doesn’t love talking shits at all. I told her multiple times to stop and leave me at peace but she went on, getting more explosive gradually. She started abusing me for no reason and when I protested after all this, she slapped me 5 times. My specks were thrown on the ground. I couldn’t help my tears. Slapping and violence isn’t an option at all. She said I am the worst in my entire family and she is ashamed to have given birth to me. Well, I do not deny her. I believe in peace and equality, I am open minded and do not like judging anybody at all, all of which goes against her and her family’s “perfect” ideology!
I have faced a lot with my parents in the past eighteen years. They have always believed that spying, not letting children who what they like, not letting them go anywhere, keeping them under complete control, abusing, slapping, violence is the best way to control. Well, I think they have done a great job. Atleast they have shown me what’s NOT right and made me know what I should never repeat for my child, when I grow older.