Or better to say, he fell in LOVE with me. Mike, my best friend has fallen for me so badly that he can’t think of anything else. He is a nice dear boy with every trait a girl wants in a guy. He replies to my messages within a minute, is never too busy for me, always listens to whatever I say, even though he hates horror stories and is really scared of paranormal stuffs, he listens to all of the stories I tell him (cause I really have a great interest in these stuffs) and has even agreed to stay in a haunted house if it’s with me (Who else does that!!).
But if you are thinking that these are the traits of every guy when they fall for a girl and tries to impress her but everything just vanishes within a few days, I would tell you more. I too thought so a year and a half back. I too thought his behavior would probably change ahead, but it’s been 1.5 years since he fell for me and is still the same. I dearly resist cause I have no other choice. He is a nice guy, a true friend, a lovely person, has a beautiful heart….so what else do I want?
I have nothing but fear. Fear of the future. What if things don’t work out and ruins the relationship along with the friendship. Can I really risk such a huge bonding for maybe some emotions? But his emotions seem to be too strong for me. He tries to resist his feelings and look at me as a bestie, he says every time he tries, he fails. And every time we end up messed in a bad argue. He confesses, he tries not to do so, but he really wants me. Sometimes when I ask, “What do you really want Mike?” he begins avoiding the conversation and diverts the talk to a different direction.
My presence pleases him and hurts him too! He considers me to be his favorite person and while he is with me or is chatting with me, he has the best moments of his life. But somewhere deep down I know, these are the worst moments for him as well. The thought that we are so close friends yet he can’t have me, hurts him deadly. The thought that we share so much with each other yet we are poles apart pisses him off.
He has a habit of going to bed early and I am like an owl, I never love sleeping before 3 a.m. Yet he wakes up for me. Even though he falls asleep some days, he wakes up at midnight to read my blog posts. It’s my habit of posting late night you know!
I sometimes really feel bad for the guy. He thinks I am fucking rude and stubborn and that’s quite natural for him to think so. He’s been there for me every time I needed yet I ain’t there for him. But believe me Mike I have no other way. But I promise to be there as long as you need me 🙂