I am going crazy. Nothing feels good anymore. Nothing cheers me up. Seems as if the world has nothing to give me anymore, all it’s wonders have been covered under a deep layer of emptiness. Vaguely looking at those tiny dust layers makes me more happy than to look into the sky nowadays. The sky makes me happy no more. The sky calls me to embrace the blue but I am stuck. We all are stuck. Can’t complain anything cause I know there are lots of people sufferings much much deeper sorrows than me. But I have lost all excitements of life.
Have lots of work to do. I do not know when my exams are gonna commence but it’s just the fear of its sudden announcement that grabs me anyway. Examiners are unfaithful as always. They never bother to think of the candidates. It is the last thing they would ever imagine to bother about. It feels as if they would suddenly announce, on a fine rainy evening, “Tomorrow is the exam. We do not care if you are prepared. Just come and sit for your exams somehow.” How mean!
It’s been raining continuously for the past four to five days without a pause. I love rains but not too much. I actually do not like too much of anything. Even too much of love makes me irritated. Can you imagine! When it’s raining like this and you just look out of the window for it to finally stop and put some sunshine on your skin, you would really feel annoyed when it doesn’t. My mood changes with temperature and weather. When the sky is dark and it’s raining for just an hour, I feel serene. When it’s sunshine and the sun says “hello” I feel that energy and positive vibes reaching out for me. But when it’s all gloomy and dark for over five days, I feel so lazy and sleepy. All my energy gone and all my sorrows activated!
So much studies to do. But how? Studying in the same class for two years because COVID hasn’t been in favor of letting my exams be conducted (Oh do not think I have failed!!), keeping at home and am only allowed to peep out of my window, having weird thoughts about the examination that has not yet been announced, getting jealous that all my friends have completed and might have revised their syllabus twenty times makes me mad. In fact, how can you get motivated towards studying for an examination that is so uncertain to occur!
I can hardly keep going like this anymore. If things continue to be like this, you would find myself blogging from an asylum the next time! I truly am annoyed. And what’s wrong with this rain man!! It’s irritating me the most.
Lastly, stay happy. Stay safe.