What Made Me “A Lazy Writer”

Hello dear readers, I am back, sitting on my desk, looking through my broad-framed specks into my laptop screen, trying hard to write. I have been absent from all kinds of places for the past few days. The most appropriate and honest reason is that I was totally out of ideas. Whenever I thought that I could write something and as soon as I turned on my laptop, all the worldly laziness as if grabbed my throat and I would resort myself to spend time on Youtube. Another reason is that I have been ill. I am still now! I do not know what is it, but it’s totally ridiculous. Yesterday, I had a severe headache once again and had to take painkillers (I totally avoid having painkillers as I have heard, they destroy kidneys, and I love my kidneys so much!). Today, I was feeling dizzy early in the morning and was about to faint. For the whole day I am going all wobbly. I can’t eat anything because eating makes me feel to vomit it out. I can’t even stay empty cause, staying empty makes me feel nauseated. It feels as if something is stuck in my liver and esophagus and I would be so happy to throw it out. But it is so stubborn that it neither goes down nor comes up but would, as if, love to stay there forever and make me feel dizzy for the rest of my life. I tried so hard to vomit. But no! Nothing comes out yet I am feeling nauseated since morning.

It’s not that I didn’t stop to write a single time for so many days. About four days ago, I finally made up my mind to write down about the terrible nightmare that haunted me last night. I wrote, edited, got a cool but scary featured image for the post. I clicked the “post” button. It showed “your post has been posted on your site A Beginner’s Dream”. I was happy that atleast I wrote something but the happiness did not last long. It turned into anger and anguish within a few minutes. As an usual practice, I opened wordpress on my phone to like my own post (yeah I do that everytime. So when you see just a single like, you should understand that the author is so unsure that she liked her own post), and guess what! The post wasn’t there at all. I came back quickly, checked all my drafts, but no!! It wasn’t there too. The post ,as if vanished from nowhere. I think the ghost who haunted me in my dream didn’t like the idea of being exposed. I hope she doesn’t vanish this post as well!

This incident made me totally frustrated and with deep anger I did not write for a few more days. Lastly, with a one-minute silence in memory of my lost post, I end this blog. I am sorry for being absent and promise to try writing everyday.

Stay happy, Stay safe.

Love ya!!