A Depression Story

Part-V: I Once Was Lost But Now Am Found…

The last part spoke of how I ruined myself day by day falling into the hands of a person who never loved me but before he left, he left me all shattered.

No, this part ain’t about how I led myself into a dungeon but about how I finally found my way out. When Henry left, he said he would return. I had asked him “when?” though I was never replied. I kept myself waiting every day, every hour. Everyday I would text him “goodnight…sweet dreams…take care” even though I knew I won’t get a wish back. I kept on believing in his last words…”I will return back”. Months passed by. I was in tenth standard, the prestigious boards class. For the whole year I was fucking busy texting that shit. For the whole year, I was busy loosing my near ones because of him. When he left, I was hollow totally from inside. I used to look at the drowning sky and tears would fall unnoticed. But guess what, I never knew I was so strong!

One evening, sitting with a cup in my hand I looked at the sky and started to cry. I could say to none what I was going through for I had nobody with me. I had lost every hope, every dream and every friend and loved ones. Suddenly a different me woke up inside. A me, I was unknown to. It said me to wipe those silly tears and get back to track. It gave me courage to break through.

At that time I fortunately got a new friend. Let’s call her Natasha. She lived a lane apart. We went on walks in evenings or slyly went to the burger shop, not letting our parents know of us having burger at odd times. We discussed subjects. We discussed life. She visited me or I would visit her. She used to arrive at my door and we would walk to school together. When on evening walks, we would discover new hidden nooks and behave to be the Columbus of the land. We would walk to the railway track and watch the sunset while experiencing the breeze that blew over the endless land. This sunset looked so different to me. I was happy about it. This sunset never made me cry but took my life to a new beginning. Looking back, I always feel those to be the best sunset of my life. We would stand near the track and I would smile looking at the sun, thinking “when the sun sets, it knows it has to rise tomorrow”. Sometimes we would talk shit of common enemies we had (what school students generally love to do! But we were good people and would be satisfied by a little shit).

We would study together. I even remember teaching her some subjects and would literally behave like a teacher. The dawn of my life showed me how to revive and boost when you are at your worst. You need not much bravery but a feeling that you want to BREAK THROUGH. The rest of the doors will be opened by life.

I have learned to love myself, to see the sunset and remember that the SUN WILL RISE AGAIN.