Well, I know, I know. The title provokes the question whom to push out and who comes back every time? And if it does, why can’t we blame it? Well this is all I am gonna discuss here. So read till the end. Let’s get going…
Certainly, during this pandemic, sitting at home all alone, cause I do not have any siblings to fight with and my parents are happy with their handsets more than with me (huh! parents nowadays!), many kinds of ideas and thoughts tickle my brain cells. I am doing nothing the whole day except giving birth to a new thought and slaying it the next moment and again doing the same. Studying seems boring enough, more when you have no friends to have fun with studies.
Playing with thoughts is quite amazing. From one to another and then to the next, you never get to know where you are reaching and at what level are you storming your mind. Gradually you come so far from where you began that when you trace back your path of thoughts, you feel amazed and crazy. Some thoughts are sweet, some are bitter, some are salty, some are worse than ever. My thoughts, sometime, is vivid sometime unclear. Sometime I want to just push them out but they keep coming back. Who to blame? Can’t blame them…right?
Laying on my bed watching the endless sky through my window I sometimes think weird. Will I be remembered after I die? Will I be satisfied with my life on the last day of my life? Will my FAIRYTALE have a happy ending? Will I get what I want from life? And many more. I always feel like I want to become a person whom people will know for good reason, whom people will admire. I may never have my wax statue built in London or get a noble prize, but I want to become a person who would be remembered even after death. I want to be satisfied with what I do, no matter how long I live. On my last day, when I trace back my past, I should be happy about it, not die with the thought that I could have made it better. I want to be happy and make others happy. The footprints I leave behind should not be washed away as soon as I die but would be followed by generations onward. This may seem to be quite a boastful thought but it is never so. I want to achieve something on my own powers that people will admire and adopt.
Thinking of all this makes me happy but again the thought comes that I belong to a very mediocre family. My parents would just like me to study hard, get a job, make some money and settle. They would never allow me to make a jump, in the fear that I might fall. But my heart is so restless. It yearns for something big, something more. I want to push away these thoughts but it keeps coming by. It’s not its fault neither all of my. My legs are tied but I need to jump. There is a 99 percent chance I would not make it but my courage tells me to go for the 1 percent left behind.