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A Depression Story

Part-I: Early Childhood

It was forever really hard to say this. And I could not. Not that I never tried but some things and some situations were never in favor. How long am I going to keep all the truth hidden inside me? I decided to spill all that I can say through my blogs. This is just going to be one of the parts I am going to confess.

To begin with, I would try not to hide anything but as I have witnessed too many worst phases of my life I have tried hard to forget most of them and there are some which no longer exist in my brain. I had to pull and throw them out of my life to survive.

Starting from my early childhood, I was then a very timid and introvert child. Never dared to talk to anybody or move even a step forward without my parents. When I was in kindergarten, I used to study at a small school, just a few minutes away from home. Though I do not remember much of that school, I remember to be a very shy child with few friends and couldn’t stay a bit without my parents (which makes me smile now, the reason will be brought out in the later parts). I would like the readers to know that I am the only child of my parents and so, more than caring for me they are worried that I may not take any path that goes against their whims.

In kindergarten, I never used to love going to school. I used to cry and shout and make all of a fuss. Lastly my mom or dad had to go and sit somewhere in the school building to make me go to school and in between the classes I would run away to check whether they was there waiting for me or have tricked me and run away. And if it ever happened that I could not find my parents where they were supposed to be, I would start crying and shouting and making a fuss again and would not let anybody to study or teach (are you guys laughing while reading this?).

Another thing I would love to say proudly that I was a very good student there (huh man! It was only kindergarten then!!). I was too small then, had few friends whom I do not remember now yet I know they were all great! When I came to first standard, I went to another school and had no grief of leaving the previous one (of course I was too small then). This school, I would say, has made the best ever memories of my life. I can never forget all those years I have spent there, all my friends , teachers and everyone else I knew. Even the trees were my friends! Being there for 10 long years, I have a lot to say regarding this school of course. But wait, we will reach there slowly. So when I reached my new school, I started crying again (huh noob! my friends makes fun of me about that even now!) . I used to cry, look for my parents and again cry and always cry. I used to cry for pencils, I used to cry when it rained thinking that my dad would not come to take me back home, I cried when the teacher scolded me, I cried when the teacher loved me…ookay I know, I was a cry baby and cried almost in everything.

The first day of my school, I met my girl best friend. Not to reveal her name, let’s call her Caroline. So Caroline and I were besties from the very first day of our school (it was the first day for both of us) and instead of going to class 1 we mistakenly went to nursery and thought that we were intelligent than any other living soul. Caroline used to soothe me when I cried. And I used to cry even when she got hurt. It was she who got hurt and not me yet it was not she who was crying but me! Can you imagine!

I still cannot forget Caroline even though we no longer talk as we used to. She has reserved a special place in my heart forever. Slowly, I was introduced to a lot more new friends and gradually stopped crying in everything. There was a boy in class who was very close to me. Well let’s name him Soyan. Soyan and I got even more deeper and deeper and I never know when I developed a different feeling for him. He did so too. We never said to each other. Six years passed, We could not confess. It was just we both knew of each other but we acted not to know anything. We wanted our eyes to meet but quickly looked away if they did. We wanted to be together but feared of destroying our friendship and time went on and we never knew when those six years passed thinking of each other…..

That was all for today… I am too sleepy right now….The rest parts I will confess tomorrow…Love you all!

Published by skylinerise

In search of life...

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